blog

birthday - 3/14/24

15th birthday was pretty much wrecked

honestly i wanted to write a post sooner but didnt bc i was sleepy

i would have written this like 2 to 3 days ago if i wasnt so my meory is probably fucked up rn

my parents were just being kind of dickish on the 12th i guess, i dont really remember but it wasnt notable

on the thirteenth (my birthday) my parents were still angry at me (and idk why but at least they werent yelling because it was my birthday) but it was ok

my best friend sleptover on the 13th too, they commented on how rude my parents were being to us

we watched a few movies but other than that it was pretty uneventful and boring. we did however ride on me and my sisters e-scooters which was fun

she crashed one time and it wasnt that bad so we got up and kept going. it was very fun.

we never cuddled because she said she was too tired. i was very sad. she had promised we could finally for weeks

she hugged me maybe twice

i held her hand one time

then she left around 3pm today, i was very sad for a while. my parents dont love me much and neither does my sister, and it felt like i was losing the first actual love i've felt in forever so fast

im very touched starved. im still sad about not cuddling. i was looking forward to it all day and i didnt push her to come cuddle when she was tired.

i feel so selfish for it.

i learned how to pass out on command too but im still practicing, so far i've only been able to hallucinate to the point of not being able to see anything and feeling like im floating very unpeacefully. its very fun.

i also practiced japanese more today, finally. still need to learn hiragana tho.

これはにほんごのぶんしょうです

i cant even read it yet lol

after that, just now (and the reason i bothered writing a new post) is my dad was told by a neighborhood kid my bsf crashed on the scooter and that there was a slight mark on the side

im pretty sure the mark was already there to be honest. RIGHT after i typed that my sister came in to yell at me about it.

anyways my dad actually yelled at me alot for it especially bc i said there was nothing there (because i didnt see a mark until he pointed it out)

in other slightly less depressing news, i worked on a little headerbar dropdown banner thing ???? idk the name and the dude who i made it for sent me a tip of $20 however i couldnt recieve it because i dont have a bank account which sucks